Convergent
Dear Language Nerd, I’m on the phone all the time for my job, and I’ve noticed something odd. When I talk to New Yorkers, I sound a little like a Yankee. When I talk to Georgians, I sound a little Southern. When I talk to Londoners, I sound a little British. I’m not doing it […]
STDooooooom
My friend is worried she might have an STD. How do you tell? Sara *** Dear Sara, I am going to resist the natural sardonic urge of every paramedic to say, “Sure, your ‘FRIEND’ has an STD…WINK WINK.” Ok, so I gave in. Congrats to your friend for getting lucky enough to where […]
Strunk and White Suck: A Compendium
Think of a grammar rule. Any grammar rule. Basic, bizarre, straightforward, convoluted. Whatever. Got it? Okay, then, consider: why do you think this counts as a grammar rule? What gives it credence? Here are the usual reasons: An authority said it, like a high school English teacher or Strunk and White. Good, careful writers always […]
Strunk and White Suck (But Zinsser Is Excellent)
Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style is bad for writers. This is an unpopular position, I know. Elements is beloved by literati, authors, English teachers, Supreme Court justices. Its precepts are in our stylebooks, our standardized tests, the air we breathe. People adore this book. I’m blaspheming. I don’t care. It is a bad […]
The Feeling’s Mutual
Language Nerd, Spanish and French were once both dialects of Latin, but now they’re different languages… when did they switch from 2 dialects of one language to 2 languages? *** Dear mysterious anonymous person, When Spanish and French people stopped being able to understand each other. Since I’ve been calling myself the Language Nerd for […]
AutoPitch
Hey Lang Nerd! (BTW I loved the post about the NATO Phonetic Alphabet) Is it easier to develop a text-to-speech application for Chinese, rather than other languages, because the tones are already built into the words? Like, wouldn’t that mean that the program doesn’t have to enforce sort of a global tone to the sentence, […]
Fa-la-la-lalderal
“Don we now our gay apparel / Troll the ancient Yuletide carol”? I just realized I have no idea what I’m singing. And what exactly is gay apparel? -Kakewalk *** Dear Kakewalk, Pumpkins? In this case “gay apparel” probably just means cheery and colorful. Though if there isn’t already an online Xmas LGBT clothier called […]
The Alphabravo Alphabet
Hey Language Nerd, I was waiting for a friend last night, and when I messaged to ask him where he was, he answered “Oscar Mike.” Apparently that meant he was coming, because he got there soon after. But I don’t get it. Do you? -RPD *** Dear Romeo Papa Delta, In fact I do. It’s […]
Heads Up
oh my god language nerd i am learning turkish and it feels like everything is backwards!!!! AM I CRAZY WHYYYYYYYYYYY??? -alimi *** Dear Alimi, You are not crazy, o emphatic person. You are totally correct. Don’t flip, it’ll be okay. Sentences are made of words. Mind-blowing, I know. But the words don’t come in any […]
A Passive Digression
The sentence which I consider le dernier cri in disjunctive pronouns – with which I, after three years of a Jesuit high school, made an enemy of my public school English teacher: “I have a new puppy; I was given him for Christmas.” I contended that the “I” was an indirect object, and that hence ‘I’ […]