Art on the Clock
Hey Art Nerd, How long does it take to make a piece of art? *** Yeah, I bet y’all thought I was dead. Can’t exactly blame you, but no. I was busy finishing up my degree and experiencing severe existential dread and living in poverty. You know, normal artist stuff. Now I’m going to mine your […]
Divide (by Zero) and Conquer
Question/Scream of Anguish : But I WANNA divide by zero, I WANNAAAAAAAA. Anna *** Well, all right. If we’re dealing with ordinary arithmetic (the kind 99% of the population uses) the answer would be a resounding “Good god man, are you insane?!” And before we do anything weird, we should have a look at why […]
Have a Merry/Marry/Mary Christmas
Why do people in the South say “merry” and “marry” and “Mary” the same? Bob *** Dear Bob, Why the South? That’s the way it’s done all across the States. Well, mostly. There are a handful of people who make three different sounds here, which I’mma go over with that International Phonetic Alphabet we learned […]
Too Fast Too Curious: Electron Drift
I’m a bit of an old fart and not collage educated so, please be gentle. Subject of my question: speed of light & electricity. For some reason that I don’t remember I have always thought that electricity traveled at the speed of light. Today I have my doubts. My education is obviously lacking so bear […]
Do What I Mean, Not What I Say
Dear language nerd, The other day, my cousin asked me if I had drunk the last cup of coffee, and if I had made more. Being the incredibly important and popular person I am, I replied yes to the first and no to the second. I’m way too cool for that task. She then responded […]
Simplification Through Assimilation
Why is it that when people say “have to” as two words it’s got a “v,” but when they run it together it’s an “f,” “hafta”? -FML *** Dear… really? FYL? Bummer. They mostly don’t say “have to” with a “v” in the first place. “I have six cows” has a “v,” or “I have […]
Take a (Metaphorical) Shot
What is a metaphor and what are some examples of metaphors [no name given] *** Dear 7th-Grader Asking Me to Do Your Homework, Kid, I am not only down for this, I am amped about it.* This is the perfect excuse for me to dig into the only thing rattling around in my head at […]
I Wonder What a Good Title Would Be
Dear Language Nerd, As often happens, I recently preceded an observation with “I wonder what….” I frequently see that sort of thing with a question mark at the end, but it’s obviously not a question. Equally obviously, a question is implied. So my question to YOU is: I wonder what the term is for this […]
Electromagnetic Fork Flinger
How can I create an electromagnet strong enough to pull a small metal object (e.g.) a fork in from 25-30 feet away? Basically, I want a very strong electromagnet with a large reach. I want to know a theoretically super-powerful design, and, if possible, a method of constructing this at home. If there are any […]
Bottoms Up from the Top Down
I was astonished to learn today that “Pilsner” is not a brand of beer, but a category. First I thought, what on Earth does “Pilsner” mean? Then I thought, wait, do I really know what “ale” or “lager” means, either? Help me out, Language Nerd. Where do our beer words come from? Henry B. *** […]